“To be one with everything as it is.” – MC Yogi
Has anyone ever said to you, “just be in it”? Have you wondered what that looks like, or how do I just be? I understand, I’ve been there…I didn’t get it, had no idea what they meant, but started to realize that there must be something to it, because at that time nothing else I was doing was helping. What I know now is this, we must first be able to come into the AWARENESS that there is something we need to pay attention to. We must first be aware of what is happening, what is going on within us and be WILLING to pause, take a breath, and in this moment of the PAUSE is when we start to “just be”.
We all know what the PAUSE button does and what it looks like (ll). While listening to our favorite playlist we come to a place where something comes up and we need to pause the music so that we can temporarily give attention to whatever has come up, and then we can eventually get back to our music. So how do you first find YOUR PAUSE button? It’s right there within you, in your willingness. Willingness isn’t always so easy, we get stuck in our patterns, or in a place of being RIGHT, so we may not be willing to find the pause button…that would mean you’d have to leave the pattern you are in and give awareness to the fact that you even need to PAUSE and look around at what is happening. This is a BIG first step! You have to reach down deep upon your COURAGE and find your willingness, then you’ve already found a little pause and are looking for that awareness…CONGRATULATIONS, you already have made a shift of awareness and BEGUN!
This morning I found myself in an old “playlist”, or an old pattern. Last night I received some news, and with news comes change and for me that sends me back into old patterns of worry, even when it’s good news. Before I learned to do Warrior poses, I was best at what I now call “Worrier” pose. In my worrier pose, I can be in the pose, try to make it all look alright, be strong no matter if I was in pain and whether I needed to make an adjustment or not. I would stay in my position to be “right”, stick with old ways and pretend that my pose was just as good as anyone else’s.
Last night I went to bed numb with this good news and knew I needed to lie down. As par for (my) course, my body physically started to lock up, hold in my fears and my stomach begin to ache like it used to. I woke up and tried my best to ignore the pain going on inside of me. I got into the shower…now, I don’t know about you, but the shower is where I can do my best thinking, have great ideas and also let my mind run wild…this time it ran with the worry. We all have moments like this, right?! What I’m blessed to have now is some awareness…it doesn’t always come to me as quickly as I’d like, but when it does I pay close attention.
My worry sent me to a place where I didn’t at first realize that I was holding my breath. I kept trying to breath deeply and the breath wouldn’t come. All I felt was tightness and a spinning out of control feeling. FINALLY, I let myself come into awareness that I needed to do something, anything, that was different!! I hit my PAUSE (ll) button!!!! I reached down deep within myself and let myself “JUST BE” in all that I was feeling. In that moment I let go and let go of emotion. I buried my face in my towel and just cried, that kind of cry where your belly jumps up and down and you let your body feel and do what it needs to. When I was done, I suddenly realized, I COULD BREATHE!!! So as thoughts (worries) continued to arise, I cried some more. For my yogi friends, I happened to be bent over in a forward fold while looking for my hair dryer and it was there that I let it all just dump out (this is what I teach in class…sometimes the teacher has to take her own advise). How do you dump out? Crying, sighs, sounds?
I also realized that what I used to be able to do before changing my career was visit a friend in my office. So I did something else fairly new to me in my awareness, I asked for what I needed… I needed help from a friend. I didn’t need anyone to fix anything, just an ear and open heart that understands me. I sent a text and immediately got a call. My friends, that’s your TRIBE…the ones that you reach out to when you need someone.
Pay close attention to your times of worry, be aware, find your pause button and call upon your COURAGE to be with everything as it is…this is your AWARENESS. Allow yourself to dump out, don’t let FEAR hold you back any longer. “JUST BE” in the moment and allow it to take place and sometimes the hardest…let go of control…it’s an illusion, you didn’t have it to begin with. The worry is fear, LOVE is the Warrior. Worrier (pose) is more difficult, painful and makes no room for change within the posture to help you find ease, balance and freedom from the pain you’re in. Be in the WARRIOR (pose)…allow yourself to move with the shifts and changes, release the pose when you need to, back off when your body asks you to, try not to force, watch the opening and ease happen as you come into these awarenesses and allow yourself to…JUST BE.